Until college, I was deathly afraid to say “I love you” to anyone other than my Mom. These three words mean so much, yet we often don’t share our warm feelings with those around us.
In my case, my hesitance was a fear of being called a loser, a girl, or being perceived as weak. In fact, this emotional reluctance is so prevalent among men that it was a core premise to the hilarious 2009 film “I Love You, Man”.
However in a surprise to no one, my high school fears and insecurities weren’t leading me towards the right place. Love and emotional connections aren’t a zero sum game. Sharing how much you care about someone does not make them stronger at the cost of you being weaker.
Instead, telling someone you love them will make the day of almost anyone you meet. It gives them a sense of meaning and belonging in a way that almost nothing else in our life can. As Morgan Housel says in his book “being loved by those who love you is invaluable”. This emotional connection is priceless to others, costs nothing to you, and makes you a better person to be around.
So our solution is simple, say I love you more.
But it goes one step further.
About a year ago, I wrote a letter to my Grandpa whose health was failing him. He was an incredible man, but we’d rarely shared our emotions with each other. In the letter I didn’t hold back though; I told him how I’d learned from him, how much I cared about him, and that I loved him. Recently I found out it was the last letter he read before he passed, and as I am writing this I am tearing up with joy and love.
So now I don’t wait to say I love you. Life is too short and we don’t need to wait until someone is on their deathbed. Sharing love and appreciation makes every day better and there’s no better day to start than today.