Three words and one breath.
When your mind is racing and you feel overwhelmed, meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein encourages us to ask about your own thoughts “is it useful?”. This has helped me de-escalate almost any situation as 95+% of the time the answer is no. Instead of fighting imaginary villains, I’ve tried to learn from him and take a step back with a very simple process
- Become aware of my mental spiral (ex: is my son drinking enough milk)
- Take 1 (or 3) big slow breaths
- Ask myself “is it useful?”
- Is worrying about this going to help me fix the issue?
- What is in the locus of my control? As Shane Parrish says “All the energy you put into things you can’t control comes at the expense of things you can control”
- Accept there are things I can’t change
- Thank my mind for trying to protect me
- Let these thoughts go and aim to focus on what’s directly in front of me at that moment. I often best connect with sights or sounds like birds chirping
This process is easier to describe then implement and this is why I wrote it out as a reminder to myself. When I’m fighting a mental battle, I need to make damn sure I’m not fighting myself and that if I “win the battle” I’ll actually have something to show for it.