Dear baby,
Your Mom and I are in the final month waiting for you and we’re so excited for you to join the family.
Here’s a few pieces of advice for your future self (and your Dad) as we embark on this journey:
1) Make mistakes, take risks, put yourself out there
To develop into a wonderful person is challenging.Sometimes you will fall down, scrape your head, break a bone, or even lose money. And I just want you to know it’s ok and it’s important. We don’t want to prepare the road for you, but we want to prepare you for the road.
One of my favorite ever movie lines from Batman sums it up as “Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up?” When you pick yourself up and put yourself out there, you can become the most complete version of yourself.
2) Define what you want
There’s two conflicting items I keep thinking about
- First I’d love to share my hobbies (running, hiking, soccer, etc.) with you and the thought gets me giddy. So you’ll probably try soccer or running because these are your parent’s hobbies and it’s what we know, but you should never feel beholden to these.
- Even more importantly I want you to find a similar joy and passion and this might be something totally different.
Your Mom and I want you to thrive on your own terms. We believe in core family values, but want to give you the freedom to define your own life. Our goal is for parenting to be a game of tug-of-war where we gradually lose and you gain more and more freedom. If you don’t know what you want yet, that’s totally normal and a perfect opportunity to try out a bunch of things.
Remember only you can make yourself happy. Never measure yourself by someone else’s ruler and define what you want.
Your Mom and I will be here to support you every day of our lives, but you’re the captain of your own ship. It’s gonna be a hell of a ride.
3) Leverage compounding
Compounding is the 8th wonder of the world in all facets of life.
- Investing – small amounts of money compounded over years led to the largest fortunes
- Relationships– Being kind to a woman every day leads to an amazing marriage
- Physique – Running daily makes the marathoner
We recently planted a tree at a local park to remind you of this. Tiny amounts of daily growth will create a 100 foot redwood.
4) Finances are scary, but follow a few rules and you’ll be ok
In investing:
- Build a cushion
- Take reasonable risks and follow Buffett’s advice to “Never risk what you have and need for what we don’t have and don’t need.”
- See compounding above. The best investments grow over many years
When spending:
- Spend less than you earn
- Spend on hobbies that bring you joy and be frugal with things you don’t care about.
- I love mountains. I spent thousands of dollars on a trip to Ecuador climbing them and it was worth every penny.
- Yet I don’t care about fancy clothes and haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in 12 months.
- Your examples will be different, but find out what brings you joy and never be afraid to spend on it. This applies five times over if you’re spending on friends.
- In that vein, be frugal with yourself and generous with others.
Feel free to ignore what I say, but anchor your finances to what brings you a fulfilling life. I modeled this letter on Morgan Housel who wrote a letter to his own son and I believe in learning from those you admire. All this advice could wrong for you as the world may be totally different. Feel free to ignore it and learn as you go, but remember money is only a tool and a fulfilling life is the goal.
5) Learn to savor today
It’s easy to think next year, next promotion, next summer, I’ll be happy. This thought “the hedonic treadmill” is seductive, but it’s a lie. It’s important to plan for the future, but today is magic. The two best habits I’ve learned to savor today are:
- Saying 10 things I’m grateful for every day.
- Taking 5-10 minutes to meditate/pray and be present in the moment.
Everyday is a gift and I hope you’re able to treasure every one.
6) Say I love you
Your Mom and I care about you so much and we’ll do our best to make sure you know this every single day. Not just by actions, but by telling you I LOVE YOU KIDDO!!!!! This shouldn’t be just for our family though.
If I could pass on one thing to you, it’d be to never hold back kindness.
- Tell the stranger thank you for holding the door when it was raining.
- Tell your best friend I love you and thank you for making me laugh when I felt like I was going to cry.
- Relationships make this world so beautiful and sharing kindness to others is the only win-win in life. You’ll feel good for telling others thank you and I love you and they’ll feel appreciated and seen
We love you so much and we can’t wait to meet you. Hopefully you’ll stop kicking your Mom at 3AM and I’ll enjoy it soon too.